Dating

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Dating Question

Please, I need help!!!!

You see, I'm dealing with my first relationship. This boy and I started dating right after we graduated from high school. He loves me and cares about me and all. He's a very nice guy but I don't think he's like "the one" for me. I'm not saying he's mean because he's really not mean. He's just not the one for me. Like "not my type." I know my type very well and he not it. I would break up with him but I don't want to be like the other two girls he was dating before me. One of them cheating on him and the other was using him to make somebody jealous. I don't want to be mean like those two girls was. This is the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I'm dating so I don't really know about this stuff. All I know is he's not the one for me. He's waaaaay tooooo sweet and I don't like it when people act that sweet to me. It's disturbing and kinda mushy and I don't like that. It's just too much especially when he does it. He even told me that someday he's might ask me to marry him. Both he and I are only 19 yrs old. We're too young for that. I just be praying and praying to God to make it so he would someday soon break up with me so I can be with the type of guy I want. What'll I do? What'll I do? What'll I do?!
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Again. I'm NOT trying to be mean. I don't want to be mean.
1012jackson posted over a year ago
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What I'm saying is I don't like him the way he likes me.
1012jackson posted over a year ago
 1012jackson posted over a year ago
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Dating Answers

Sinna_Hime_chan said:
You will learn to follow your heart but more important is to try to act in kindness and the way you would want to be treated. Maturity and grace can go along way, but we don't "always" have these. Sometimes it is learned and sometimes it is never easy. I would say a prayer and maybe two, then be very clear and honest and do not buy into guilt or reaction. Just remain calm and understanding as possible. That is really all we can do.

You express how thankful you are for having met him... how speacil he is, and wonderful as a person. (Make him "feel" you meant it, make him feel special) but as you explain you tell him that you have to be honest with yourself and respect him enough to do that because you do not feel he is the one for you. Why? -you tell him because it is just something you feel that does not have to do with him but feelings, chemistry and a gut feeling.

I know this is over 1-2 months old question. i am sorry & you have probably dealt with this by now. Letting someone go is tricky and hard, but if your feelings are not there it is a lot easier. Since this has become clear to you, it is clear what you should do is tell him face to face, maybe in a safe enviroment, and DO NOT tell him it is because he was too sweet, because you may not like all that mushy stuff right now but some girls do and even your own tatstes might surprise you & change one day. You don't want him to feel put down. Rejection is hard enough. Let him know you care, but tell him your feelings have moved away. Tell him you dod not want to treat him badly or do what those other girls did and tell them this is nothing like that, but unfortaunately sometimes feelings are not on the same page at the same time and there isn't much you can do if you are not "there." Tell him it is best to part ways for now.

If you can stay friends great.
But have your boundaries.
Make it a clean break...

Goodluck. Be honest, be real, be gentle, try not to let it get too harsh or heavy. Walk away if you have to, but do so kindly. Try to make him feel better about himself, so don't put him down.

That is all I know.
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You will learn to follow your heart but more important is to try to act in kindness and the way you would want to be treated. Maturity and grace can go along way, but we don't "always" have these. Sometimes it is learned and sometimes it is never easy. I would say a prayer and maybe two, then be very clear and honest and do not buy into guilt or reaction. Just remain calm and understanding as possible. That is really all we can do. You express how thankful you are for having met him... how speacil he is, and wonderful as a person. (Make him "feel" you meant it, make him feel special) but as you explain you tell him that you have to be honest with yourself and respect him enough to do that because you do not feel he is the one for you. Why? -you tell him because it is just something you feel that does not have to do with him but feelings, chemistry and a gut feeling. I know this is over 1-2 months old question. i am sorry & you have probably dealt with this by now. Letting someone go is tricky and hard, but if your feelings are not there it is a lot easier. Since this has become clear to you, it is clear what you should do is tell him face to face, maybe in a safe enviroment, and DO NOT tell him it is because he was too sweet, because you may not like all that mushy stuff right now but some girls do and even your own tatstes might surprise you & change one day. You don't want him to feel put down. Rejection is hard enough. Let him know you care, but tell him your feelings have moved away. Tell him you dod not want to treat him badly or do what those other girls did and tell them this is nothing like that, but unfortaunately sometimes feelings are not on the same page at the same time and there isn't much you can do if you are not "there." Tell him it is best to part ways for now. If you can stay friends great. But have your boundaries. Make it a clean break... Goodluck. Be honest, be real, be gentle, try not to let it get too harsh or heavy. Walk away if you have to, but do so kindly. Try to make him feel better about himself, so don't put him down. That is all I know.
posted over a year ago 
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